8.6.07

An inkling of ink






my pen today is overwhelmed
wishes to kiss this paper
pouring the blue poison of feelings
carving a monument of small things


pondering over its life
wondering whether its a lie
or maybe its just my smile
that is complete in this while


thinking about you
i wonder if you are feeling this too
but i know its true
as this dance continues


getting lost again and again
scared of the obvious pain
yet not escaping the domain
where we redefine all thats insane


what is it that we share
what is it that's not there
that i reach the road's end
but still many ways emerge and blend


i complete a line
but so much is left out in time
each walk seems like a pilgrimage
where we meet with divine grace


meditating in each other's hearts' shrine
embracing the gods that in us reside
these are just my lines
you have your own rhyme


but is it not that your pen's flick
touches paper with the same love's ink?

There’s no return to innocence



Again and again
You slam the door
Again and again
I knock and bring you out once more

Why I come and why I leave
Why I hate and still believe
Why you care and why you don’t
Are some of the things that are unknown

You laugh and I cry
You don’t even know when I die
You come and kiss me
Bringing back the life in me
But what has died
Never is alive
You know it but still you play assassin nine

I murder too
When I really want to
But only what’s in me
Punishing you for this felony

My wounds never heal
They act like a seal
Never again I want you to invade
What you scraped leaving me to bleed in vain

Never again will I love you
If you don’t care that I hate you
And what reason then will I have to hate you
Stab but then don’t feel bad
You don’t deserve what I no more have

If that’s coz of you I cry
And its coz of you that I am dry
But once dry I’ll never have the same cry
And that will be a final end
You are right I don’t understand
But then do you really stand

Can’t believe I love you
Or maybe it’s not really true
But since I felt it
I am living it through
Till when that’s only up to you
To grow is what’s left to do
And that we can’t undo


In an instant a caress turns to fondling
Why do you have to keep me struggling?
I am glad that you happened to me
But then stop strangling the child in me
Don’t make me grow so fast
I have shown you my innocence
Don’t try to make it my past

Somebody please ask Hamlet to mind his own business….




I was taking a stroll on a clear night,
My fantasy at an all time high,
The inviting horizon,
The irresistible temptation,
Yearning for the white noise,
Wondering why are Hamlet’s words,
Diminishing the high’s intent,
Frustrated I was forced to think,
Standing at the brink,
(Just one step and I outwit all
And one step behind, no difference at all)
The thumping brain was boggled,
(Maybe by the altitude)
But the ghosts of my past appeared
In front of me as they thought I needed help.
I laughed at their concern,
And they at mine,
(Huh! It’s puzzling business, this life).
Anyway, so now when I was intruded,
I tried my best to be not annoyed.
This is what they told me-
(For some reason the effect of the grass left me
And I again felt grass beneath my feet)
The Science teacher said-“it’s not a game of dice”.
The Economics teacher said-“there’s monopoly”.
The English teacher quoted Robert Frost.
The Maths teacher-“it’s all in the Zero”.
The Arts teacher showed me a balance,
And said-“justice is blind but God is not”.
The school priest said-“let there be light’.
The principal however stayed silent
And said you need a break.
Then they all disappeared one by one.
And again Hamlet returned to disturb me.
I told him that the void in me needed essence,
Or else it would swallow me.
He smiled and said-
“To be or not to be”, and fled
But something made me step back,
As I felt giddy,
The noise had colour now,
Dawn was peeping in,
I got up, dusted my pants off dirt.
My eyes were wet (might be the dew)
But my brain no more numb
(The quality of grass, I doubt)
Though I felt my back tied to something.
I shrugged and said maybe I had a drink too much.
I wanted to sit now as my heart felt heavy or maybe complete.
So I returned back and slept dreamlessly with a smile.
When I woke up my eyes had a fire;
A dream and a desire,
When I thought of the previous night’s trance,
It was Hamlet’s fault, I knew at once.